The other night at one of the small groups Trey and I
attend, we split up and talked girls and guys. This atmosphere brought for so
much conversation that can’t always take place in mixed company. Us girls
talked about so much, but what really stuck out to me was something that is
talked about a lot in Christian circles of women, the “Proverbs 31 Woman.”
Sometimes when we hear something over and over, we become dismissive about it
and think, ‘oh yeah, this again…’ and, especially growing up in a Christian
environment, Proverbs 31 is a very common chapter for women of God to continuously
and repetitively learn about, but for some reason this time it stuck out to me
more than ever before… Maybe because it’s the first time I had heard it since I’ve
actually been married! But nonetheless, I heard and took in these verses in
such a different way than I ever had before.
Here’s what it reads:
Hymn to a Good Wife
Proverbs 31:10-31 (The Message)
A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful,
she treats him generously all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn,
preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful,
she treats him generously all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn,
preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!
Now first of all, I used The Message version of this passage here
because I really believe it gives us a modern spin on this description of what
is basically laid out as the “perfect wife” in Scripture (although it uses the
word “festoon”… Who says that? In case you were wondering, it means “adorn” or
“decorate”). But just let that passage sink in for a minute… This lady is
stinkin’ Wonder Woman! When I read these verses, I feel extremely convicted of
things that I know I could be doing better in my home, with my family. I feel
as though we, as women of God, shouldn’t look at this woman and think ‘Yeah,
well that’s an impossible task to accomplish,’ or ‘If only you knew my
situation!’ We all have things that could give us reasons to not want to try
harder… And it is not about being perfect! Everyone is given different gifts
and abilities from God that make them who they are, and it may not be possible
for us to make all our own clothing or plant gardens with all that extra money
we have laying around (I hope you sense my sarcasm), but it is about striving to be the best woman of God that we can be.
I have only been married for 10 months, but in the past 10 months I
have learned so much that I never could have comprehended before moving into
this chapter of my life. I am by no means an expert on marriage, but as a young
newlywed woman, I have a perspective that, I’m sure, will get lost in the chaos
of things later down the road. I see things from a very new outlook and angle.
I am still having to adjust to the way my husband and I work together, I am
learning what it is to be an adult and juggle work and a family and paying
bills, and I am just battling the stages of baby fever without actually having
any yet! But from this perspective, I can see the immensity of what I still
have to work on! I want to have the will power to (even though I would love a
few minutes of extra sleep in the morning) get up and cook breakfast for my
family and organize my day. I want to be the wife who is “never spiteful and treats [her
husband] generously all her life long,” and who’s husband “trusts
her without reserve and never has reason to regret it,” and who’s
children one day “respect and bless her.” I have so much to live up to! And I
can talk about how much I WANT to do something all day long, but when will I
actually take the initiative to make myself wake up early, or ignore the urge
to roll my eyes at something my husband says that I think is ridiculous? Well,
it can start today for all of us, and it should never stop for the rest of our
lives! God can give us the strength to change our habits and build new ones.
For the newlywed wife who hasn’t even figured out how to juggle her
job and cooking dinner, let alone spending time to nurture and serve her
husband… For the wife who has been married for ten years, has three kids, and
puts her kids above her husband, or is spiteful and disrespectful towards him…
For the wife who is in her 50s and has an empty nest for the first time in 20+
years and “has everything together” and all of you somewhere in between… If you
think you’re on the path of no return, you’re not! And if you think you’ve got
it all together, don’t become content with where you are in life! You can never
stop growing into a greater and more holy woman of God! There is no perfect
time but now to ask God to change the way you do and see things, or ask Him to
reveal areas you need to grow. Then by His strength you can become more like
this “Proverbs 31 Woman.” The
truth is, it is impossible to reach perfection, but the beauty in that is that
it gives us room to always aspire for more and strive to be better!
It is all about aligning ourselves with God’s will for our lives and
trusting Him to guide our thoughts and actions. If we truly sacrifice
ourselves, our ways, our thoughts and plans to the Lord, we can become the best
we can possibly be. God knows how we work and flourish way more than we do, and
trusting in Him with everything that we are and possess is the only way to live
a life that is pleasing to Him. It is so much easier said than done, but if we
help each other and lean on the One who renews and restores us, we can become
the God-fearing women that we were created to be.
“The woman to be admired
and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.”
From one heart to another <3
